Sharing painful experiences isn’t about a competition of, “who has been through the worst, so you don’t know how I feel.” Sharing painful experiences, is what connects us. I understand your pain. I too have been there: the sadness, anxiety, hurt and depression. The too tired to get out of bed because I’am so emotionally drained feeling; anxiety kicking in, you don’t want to get out of bed and have another day of lies, “I’m fine. I’m okay. It’s whatever. I’m just not feeling well. That scratch on my arm is just from my cat.” I’ve been there before, and I’ am here for you now.
Our pain is not a show for outsiders to watch and say, “my god, I’am so glad I’ am not going through that, she is so dramatic, too sensitive. she’s sick again.” Believe me you feel it too; rushing through your body when you are too exhausted, so you take another pill, drink your wine and gossip like it’s a hot new trend, “oh, she’s doing it again, she flaked and is staying home. she’s so lazy and sad all the time….” No, no, no, I’m fighting the anxiety that comes and goes whenever he pleases, the depression that fills my mind when a certain song or feeling brings me back to a moment in time. I’m fighting to not grab that drink, to numb by body from these thoughts that slowly creep in my mind; depression is around the corner ready to join the party. I’m fighting to not grab that razor to kiss my skin, so I can feel the sharpness of the blade instead of everything else I’ am feeling. I share my painful experiences to connect, and survive; I’m fighting to stay alive, I want to live!
My pain is not a competition but a connection. A connection for others who are going through the same thing, who have been there before, who need something or someone they can relate to ,so they don’t feel alone in this world that feeds off of people’s pain. My pain is not a show for you to watch, while your ego takes over, thinking you are better then anyone else. no, my pain is what has made me who I am today, my pain has made me stronger then I ever was before. My pain connects me to others,who need help and have no one, I am here for you. We are the seed, our Pain is the soil where we were buried, and our healing is the beautiful wildflower that grows from it, in the most unexpected places. You are not alone, I am here for you. Take my hand and we will walk this journey together. Our pain is our connection.